Your best self – Dr. Stacy Thomas

Category: Your best self

Another Chance to Design Your Health for 2021

If you are struggling right now, you are not alone. Life at this unique time is especially hard. This is why we decided to open up another chance for members of this community to join the Design Your Health Group, a 6-session facilitated group experience plus online community where participants come together to support each other while learning the tools and mindset to truly design their health, not just for right now, but for life!

For the past few weeks, our very own Gabrielle Iwaskow has been facilitating this group and private facebook community and the engagement and impact has been incredible. We are thrilled to have created a space that people are using to inspire and support each other in the process of becoming well at every level, particularly now when being as healthy as possible is so important.

So if you are having a hard time following through with what you know you need to do right now to feel better, are yearning for a sense of community and meaningful engagement with others who are motivated to show up for you, and if you appreciate the benefits of having professional guidance to maintain the focus as well as the vibe, join us.

Experience what its like to feel supported as you build a life rooted in joy and wellness (rather than shame and sacrifice) while also having so much fun.

The group will meet every other Saturday morning from 10:30 am to 12 pm starting January 30th. If this sounds like the thing you need right now, please don’t wait. There are only 10 spots available and we’d hate for you to miss out.

Click here to learn more and register today.

There is no better time than right now to commit to investing in yourself to design your health.

We look forward to welcoming you and seeing you soon!

Dr. Stacy, Gabrielle and the Design Your Life team

Together We Rise – The Mantra for Growing Forward Intentionally Into 2021

This has certainly been a year! And we cannot let it go by without some reflection and intention to mine all of the awareness we gained for what it has to give us to help design our lives in the year to come.

Last week I let you know about the FREE Design Your Health for Life! Webinar I did with our very own Gabrielle Iwaskow on what it really takes to go from not being ready for change to making it happen without having to “should” all over ourselves to get there.

We were thrilled to see so many people join us on a Saturday to take in what we had to share. The webinar also gave us an opportunity to introduce a new offering we are really excited about: The Design Your Health Group, a private group experience where we come together in community under the guidance of one of the therapists here at the Design Your Life Centre to amplify the impact of the kind of conversations we would often have one-on-one. Groups are not only cost-effective, they are the most effective way of mobilizing the support and the genius of the collective, which is just what happens when people come together for themselves and others. If you didn’t get a chance to attend the webinar, you can watch it here. And if the Design Your Health Group sounds like it is the thing you need now to ensure a healthier 2o21, click here to learn more and to register today. We are extending our special rate until Dec 21, 2020 to our people in our Design Your Life community. Use the Promo Code SELFCARE to get your preferred pricing. Once you purchase, you will get instant access to the private Facebook group so you can get started connecting and primed for change even before the group officially meets in January. Click here to sign up.

And there’s more…I can’t let 2020 go without getting people together to reflect and set intentions for the year ahead. And so on December 20, I am also offering one of my signature Growing Forward Through Writing Workshops where we will come together to reflect on the growth that has happened this year, share our insights with each other, and leave with an affirmation that you will learn how to integrate for maximum impact to design your life intentionally in 2021.

If there is a theme that is already coming out of this year of chaos it’s this: Together We Rise. And so in keeping with giving back, half of the proceeds for the workshop will be going to the Red Door Family Shelter, an incredible charity in the Leslieville area of Toronto that provides housing for mothers and their children often displaced due to domestic violence. So sign up and experience the transformation that happens when we connect to the truth within and witness the impact it has on others. We are all in this together. Join us.

Warmly,

Dr. Stacy

It’s time to stop “should-ing” and learn how to really design your health, for life!

When it comes to health, everyone knows what they “should” be doing. And if you don’t, finding the information you need is only a google search away.

The fact is, none of us is lacking access to information. So why is it that so many of us struggle to do what we know is good for us?

The answer has nothing to do with what we know and has everything to do with how we feel.

Here is the truth about the human brain: It is all about the short term gain. The promised benefits of that beautiful body, increased energy, vibrant skin, great sleep etc, etc… sound great. We might even be convinced to sign up for that program, gym membership or online course because someone who was just like us did it and… look at them now!

As wonderful as it all sounds in 2 dimensional space, when we enter the real world it tends to all fall apart. Why? Because the short term reality often sucks. It’s uncomfortable and sometimes even painful, and not just physically.

Making change forces us to acknowledge where we are in our lives now. And coming to terms with that reality can bring up a lot of difficult emotions… the worst of all being shame.

This is precisely why doing what’s good for us takes so much “will power”. We need it not just to lift the physical weight but to push through the emotional weight as well.

The tone of this entire discussion needs to change and we are happy to lead the way.

Come join Me and Gabrielle Iwaskow from the Design Your Life Centre for this FREE WEBINAR where you will learn how to drop this tone of “should-ing” yourself and move into a space of creating real change, for life!

During this FREE WEBINAR you will:

-learn the science behind how people actually make lasting change

-understand what you can do to move yourself through the process of change no matter where you are at (even if that means change is the last thing you are ready to do right now)

-leave with a tool you can use that will not only help you understand how to motivate yourself, but also how you can be more effective supporting others move forward in their process of making change

PLUS…you will get a chance to take advantage of an exclusive bonus offer that will only be available to webinar participants, that you will not want to miss.

Here are the details:

When: Saturday December 12, 2-2:45 PM EST

Where: ZOOM (click the link to register)

The time to start the process of of designing your health is not January – it’s right now. So come, learn and get inspired to Design Your Health, not for that special event, not for a few weeks, but for life!

We look forward to seeing you there!

Dr. Stacy & Gabrielle

Leveraging Community for Greater Impact

This past weekend, I spent 3 days among a group of clinician entrepreneurs brought together by Dr. Meghan Walker for an event called IMPACT LIVES. I was honoured to have been invited to give the opening keynote talk and then I was honoured again by being awarded The Paragon Award for excellence as the Clinician of the Year.

As good as it feels to have been chosen and recognized, the shine of the moment quickly faded in the face of the reality of this most recent lockdown in response to the pandemic. The need for our services is higher than it has ever been and the sobering truth is that we are not currently doing enough to help.

While we are continuing to grow our team to meet the demand for 1-on-1 care, this situation clearly illustrates that an exclusive individual model for delivering services is not only unsustainable but cannot serve our community at the level that’s needed right now. As Dr. Meghan stated several times, when times are challenging, what matters most is not our resources but our resourcefulness. And when I stand back and look at the genius that exists among the people within this community, it strikes me that we actually have an abundance of both.

This community is filled with incredible leaders, not all of whom recognize their power, but we do. We also have been privileged to have witnessed transformation happening among our individual clients at a rate that we have never seen before. This is the positive side effect of this unprecedented time: it is pushing us all to grow exponentially. Can you imagine what could happen if we connected you with others interested in designing their lives? I know that the impact would be through the roof!

As per usual, I have a ton of ideas. But to ensure we are going to best serve your needs, we would really appreciate it if you could spare a minute to complete this brief survey to ensure that whatever we offer is in line with your needs. You can access the survey here.

And while you are waiting to get started in a new group offering with us, I urge you to take advantage of the offerings I helped develop with Mindful World that are full of incredible content you can use today: The 2020 Mindful World Parenting Summit, The MIlton’s Secret Conscious Conference featuring yours truly along with Dr. Shafali Tsabary, Eckhart Tolle, Dr. Laura Markam, Lisa Nichols, and Barnet Bain as well as Milton’s Secret, the first feature film based on the teachings of Ekhart Tolle. All of these offerings provide insight and tools for addressing anxiety, stress, and bullying and will be free only until November 25, 2020.

For those of you who would like to get started in a group experience asap, I invite you to join me on Instagram, every Tuesday morning from 7 am – 7:30 am EST @growingforwardsoulschool for the Flow to Grow expressive writing practice. If you can’t make it that early, no worries: you can register to receive the recordings of each session through the link in our bio.

Lastly, as some of us begin to shop for the holidays, I urge you to support your local small businesses whenever you can. One such business is Allwood Market, my go to place for ethically, hand-made, organic, vegan, non-toxic, fashion made with love by the infinitely creative Kevin Allwood like my sequined touque and “Be You Til Full” hoodie. Get yours while they last.

Thank you again for being part of the Design Your Life Community. We look forward to seeing all that will unfold as we use this moment to come together like never before.

All of Our Best,

Dr. Stacy & The Design Your Life Team.

Dropping the “Imposter” Dialogue & Embracing The Call to Lead

Not too long ago, I was honoured to be featured as a “black boss” leader in this community and was asked whether leaders are born or made. The turn around required for my response did not allow me the time to look up the data, so I went with my gut response: probably a little of both but if I have to chose, leaders are made. And indeed, when I checked the data, it confirmed that my instinct was correct.

The attention recently on the US election has had us collectively consider what it takes to be a leader. For me, a leader is not necessarily someone who is an outspoken extravert, comfortable or craving the spotlight. It is someone who is willing to take a risk and put their ideas into the world for the benefit of the greater good.

We here at the Design Your Life Centre pride ourselves on being leaders in our field, determined to fulfill our mission of fundamentally changing the conversation about mental health to being about health. We are also determined to change the way mental health care is delivered by creating an exceptional client experience.

As part of this mission, we decided to put it in writing, all of it – our mission, our core values, and our why. We also asked our clients for their stories of transformation in order to help new and potential clients get inspired and excited to collaborate with us to design their lives. It is with great pride that I share with you The Design Your Life Centre Culture Book. We welcome you to take a look and to share it with anyone you believe would benefit from this fresh perspective we hope will inspire more people to care for their mental health.

I am also excited to let you know that I have been asked to give my first key note speech ever! Yes, I am the first speaker to kick off Impact Lives, a 3 day, online conference/workshop for clinician entrepreneurs from November 19-21, 2020. I have been asked to speak to a condition that I know too many striving professionals struggle with: The Imposter Syndrome.

I am excited to address this group of clinician entrepreneurs and help them transition from asking themselves “Who am I to lead?” to embracing the call to lead and come into their purpose. Now more than ever, we need clinicians to be in the world, sharing what they know to empower as many as possible to optimize their health. If you are a clinician or a coach that is feeling called to really increase your impact, this is an event that you do not want to miss.

Finally, my hope is that you had a chance to check out The Mindful World Parenting Summit last week while it was free. If you missed it, don’t worry. There is another event coming that I am about to start shooting (literally in a few minutes after I finish writing this newsletter) that will be bringing together some of the most relevant talks from the past two years of the summit combined with the teachings of Ekhart Tolle and Milton’s Secret, the movie, based on Ekhart’s teachings that shows us a way to address stress, anxiety and bullying from a compassionate lens. While access to the Mindful World Parenting summit is now only available for purchase, you can still watch Milton’s Secret for free. Click here to get your ticket.

Some have asked me why I give my time to events like the Summit. It is simple: because it aligns with my mission to change the conversation about mental health so we can all come together, to create something better for all of us. And the bonus gift for me as I go into unchartered territory, is the opportunity to witness what happens as I align with my highest self to serve the greatest good.

Thank you for listening and for joining me on this journey. It is the fuel that keeps me going.

With Deep Respect, Always

Dr. Stacy & The DYL Team

http://https://app.searchie.io/watch/Pn2lVp9wNO

Tools to Create a More Mindful World

It’s been several months since I have been in touch, and wow, what a time it has been! This pandemic has made mental health a priority like never before. In order to serve this growing need, we have been working really hard to not only serve clients face to face, but to create content that serves on an even bigger scale. Why? Because making mental health information and tools as accessible as possible is one of our core values, and if there was ever a time to jump in and start this process its’ right now.

In keeping with our mission to democratize mental health, I am writing today to share not one, but two excellent online events that can help us put the teachings of mindfulness into practice to create a better world.

The first is The Mindful World Parenting Summit. Hosted, once again by yours truly, this year’s summit features the teachings of an incredible array of experts such as Dr. Shefali Tsabary, Lisa Nichols, Kate Northrup, Dr. Laura Markham, Les Brown and many more. It is also filled with practical tools parents and families can use to get through this unique time in our collective history. And I am happy to tell you that this year, the producers asked me to not only host the summit, but to also provide a talk, and demonstrate some mindfulness exercises, including my Flow to Grow expressive writing practice. (Not sure what the Flow to Grow practice is? Check out the links in bio @growingforwardsoulschool on Instagram to learn more). The Mindful World Parenting Summit is FREE from November 9-15. So don’t delay. I’d hate for you to miss out on this amazing content.

The second event I would love for you to get a chance to see is an incredible film called Milton’s Secret, the first feature film based on the teachings of Ekhart Tolle, starring Donald Sutherland and Michelle Rodrigues. This film is not just a film – it is an educational tool that can be used in conjunction with two learning programs featuring Ekhart Tolle that includes clips from the film as well as exercises for families and students to help put these teachings into practice. You can watch the preview here.

This film is near and dear to my heart. It is an example of transformational ‘edutainment’ at its best and includes so many beautiful examples of how we can address problems such as anxiety, financial strain and bullying in a mindful and compassionate way. I was honoured to have been invited to visit the set, hang out with some of the cast, and volunteered to help craft the educational materials based on Ekhart’s responses to the film. It is an incredible offering that I am so proud to support and hope you will watch and allow yourself to be impacted by it. Click hereto get your ticket to watch it for FREE until November 25, 2020.

From now on, me and my team of clinicians will be sending you this newsletter once/week because its needed. If you aren’t interested in having us in your inbox weekly, please unsubscribe. The last thing we want is to feel like a nuisance to you. And for those who could use a little extra support, we will be here to support you.

And if you take advantage of these offerings, comment and let us know how they helped and be sure to share them. It is going to take a lot of us to make a difference, and as our clients know, when we do the inner work the entire world around us changes. That is the truth. Check it out.

With Love, Support, and Deep Respect

Dr. Stacy & The Design Your Life Team

A Gift to Support Your Self-Care on Mother’s Day & Every Day

Mother’s day is hard for so many, especially now.
For those who want nothing more than to hug their mother, or embrace their children rather than give a distant wave.
For those who have lost a child, or have been trying for the child they have yet to hold.
For those who grieve the mother they loved dearly and has passed on, or the mother they had wished for but never had.
Mother’s day can be hard

And so… for all of those who are mothers and for all who have had a mother , we offer this little gift: an affirmation we hope will help you connect with the infinite love that created you that you can tap into and give to yourself.

Many thanks to @zachkellum for offering this opportunity to combine my voice and this message with his beautiful music. Follow him on Instagram for a dose of his vibes that will make your spirit soar.

Our hope is that you listen to this affirmation daily, maybe even several times a day, to absorb the truth of the message so that you can and will show up even better for yourself. And if you love it, please do share it. We all need this now.

Enjoy.

Sending you all a big virtual hug.

Dr. Stacy & The Design Your Life Team

When You Are Invited to Have an Impact on a Bad Hair Day, You Check The Ego & Make It WERK!!

I was having a lazy Sunday; you know, one of those days where you decide not to put the usual effort into looking your best. For me, that meant putting my fuzzy mess of curls in a ponytail and donning my fabulous sequinned Kevin Allwood toque to venture out to face the day.

On that very Sunday morning, the CBC called to ask me to speak on camera about Blue Monday, the so called saddest day of the year, as well as Seasonal Affective Disorder. Of course I said yes.

I had 1.5 hours to get camera ready. On a day when I did my usual, I wouldn’t have given this a second thought. But on that particular Sunday, my hair would have still been wet had I tried to rehabilitate it the only way I know how. So the sequinned hat was going to make its debut, thankfully only on local television.

When the videographer arrived, I found myself explaining the toque and asking if it would be better for me to take it off. She encouraged me to wear it, so I did. When the camera started rolling, I proceeded to speak about how there was no evidence that ‘Blue Monday’ was the saddest day of the year, but at least it got us talking about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is a real challenge for many.

I felt good about having the opportunity to debunk a myth and educate the public about interventions that can help. I got a chance to share that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (learning to address the thoughts and behaviours that contribute to mood problems) helps more than light therapy (the most common form of treatment) and can actually cure SAD. That’s right. The majority of people who do CBT for SAD, don’t meet the criteria for SAD the following year. Pretty impressive.

The piece aired that evening on the 11 pm news. The following day, the story was picked up and suddenly that picture of me in all of my sparkly regalia was popping up on MSN, Yahoo, and internet news feeds all over da place.

I received requests from 6 other news platforms that Blue Monday, and I was able to fulfill three of them giving me even more of a chance to have an impact.

It was indeed a great day. And yet, every time I saw an image of myself in my sequinned toque a part of me cringed. “You look so unprofessional” was the voice that accompanied that feeling. Yup, that image was awakening my ego, that wounded part of me that rises under the perceived threat of being diminished, of being rejected for showing my true self.

Maybe you know this voice too. It’s the one that keeps you from looking at pictures of yourself having fun because all you can see is the extra weight. Or maybe its the voice that prevents you from being in the picture at all because somehow you are not prepared to look your best. Or maybe it prevents you from even going to that event, and showing up in any way shape or form, because you fear you do not belong.

This is the ego. As a woman of colour, I have had too many experience of my voice not mattering. The voice that convinces me that I have to work extra hard to look “professional” in order to be taken seriously is the ego, which rises to protect me from being thrown out of the tribe. It’s the same voice that screamed at me when I stopped straightening my hair, a decision I made to free myself from the many ways in which this practice was toxic for my mind, body and spirit, and from the racism I had absorbed and internalized that kept me doing it for years.

Twenty years ago, when I chose not to listen to what the ego was telling me about my hair, I gave myself the opportunity to discover that it’s message was not real, at least not in my present reality, and with that decision, I reclaimed my authenticity; I reclaimed my power.

Now, as I cringe at the photo, I consciously take a deep breath, and recognize that I showed up as my true self that day and had an impact. I let myself absorb this fact and just like that, the ego weakens leaving more room for my true self to expand and unfold.

So the next time you find yourself becoming small as the world beckons you to share your voice, stop, breathe, and do it anyway. It’s the only way to truly discover just how powerful you truly are.

GUEST BLOG by Gabrielle: Breaking Up With Social Media

My boyfriend and I decided to take a break, a break from social media. Inspired by hearing about others who did the unthinkable and quit social media ‘cold turkey’ for 30 days, we decided to give it a try.

Thirty days was a bit more than we thought we could handle to start, so we opted for a week. Seven days with no Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or Snapchat. Which interestingly, rendered our phones quite useless after all of these apps were locked.

Our 1^st challenge occurred three days into the week while at a Raptors game. I wanted to post a picture of us on Instagram. After a debate, we decided together that I could post it, but that I had to close the app right afterwards and not reopen it until the challenge was over. Five minutes later, we started to bicker about the caption on the picture. I could feel myself becoming agitated. I closed the app and while looking at one another we had the same realization. The first conflict we had since starting the challenge was when one of us started to engage with social media. Let that sit with you for a minute.

If I could describe the week in one word, it would be relief. It was a relief to learn that I could go into an experience without the pressure or expectation to share it with the world. I was relieved of the pressure to prove to someone else that I was having a good time. It was just the experience and I, and that was pretty great. We enjoyed the week so much that we continue to have time limits on our social media apps to this day and still hold each other accountable.

So many of us use these apps to express ourselves; to show the world what we love and to capture amazing memories. But ironically, the process and the pressure of capturing life’s special moments in order to share them with the world also distracts us from fully enjoying them. Moreover, our awareness of the “likes” we acquire along the way runs the risk of reinforcing a soul destroying premise: that our lives only matter if approved of by others. And then there is the automatic comparison to those who are always living a more fabulous life – a recipe for feeding the wide-spread belief most of us carry that whoever we are is not enough.

The week without social media was like finally taking a conscious deep breath and realizing just how much stress I had been carrying. We can certainly get by with shallow breathing throughout most of our days. But once we know what a deep breath feels like, well, we might decide to pay attention to the process we take for granted and consciously give ourselves more of what we really need. Which is not to live in the shallow, but to dive in, and really enjoy the deep.

I am a millennial and there is no denying that smartphones, technology, and specifically social media, have a huge influence on how I engage in the world. But I have redefined my relationship with it. Now I can see that the connections I want are all around me. For that, this was the best break I have ever had.

When was the last time you spent an extensive amount of time without social media? I invite you to try this same challenge and share your experience with us in the comments below. Or don’t comment and enjoy the experience for yourself.

Feeling grateful to have shared this with you,

Gabrielle Iwaskow, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)

Interested in learning more about Gabrielle and how she helps people Design Their Lives? Click here to learn more and to book your free consult today.

Yes, You Can Step Out of The Matrix and, Into a New Reality

I was about 13 years old when I was confronted with the first pivotal moment that set the stage for the rest of my life. It was my first day of riding camp. To say I loved horses is an understatement – I was obsessed with them. I even came up with a scheme to turn our backyard shed into a barn for a horse of my own, which seemed like the least my parents could give me in exchange for my good grades.

As per usual, I was the only black girl at camp. No biggie. I was used to that. But I was also one of the few new people among a group of kids who had been attending for weeks.

Everything was fine until lunch. The lunch room overlooked the riding ring with booths that could fit about four people, two people seated on each side. There was one booth in front of me with 1 seat available.

As I stood there, frozen, watching the three other girls at the table laugh and chat over their sandwiches, it was as if time stood still. It felt as if there was an invisible barrier preventing me from crossing over onto the other side, the place where I truly wanted to be.

It was within that torturous place of conflict that suddenly a voice spoke to me. Believe it or not, in an epic, Hollywood-movie kind of way, this deep male voice (think Morgan Freeman) clearly stated the following: “Don’t be afraid of people”. This was the command I heard and received to step out of the pattern of shyness and join the party.

It was my profound shyness as a child that has always caused me to label myself as an introvert. Unlike true introverts who experience energy drain when they engage with others, I get energy from human interaction. For me, the more the better. I seek it. I crave it. As much as I enjoy time on my own, I much prefer doing just about anything with someone else.

I am clearly not an introvert. I have been living a pattern of introversion. It is a pattern I fell into at a young age, likely because of my awareness of being “the other”, an awareness that was communicated in subtle and not so subtle ways once I started school at the age of 3.

My shyness was my response to what I perceived was a world that noticed me, but did not seem truly interested in understanding who I was. It was the experience of being noticed and not really seen. In effect, my shyness became a way of protecting my authentic self from push back from others who I believed would not be open to receiving and respecting it. It was a coping strategy born from an inner knowing, an inner wisdom that lay far below the surface, unknowable to anyone, not even myself.

That day at riding camp as I stood staring at those other three girls, I made the choice to follow that command I heard so clearly in my head and step out of the pattern. In the movie version of this scene, you would see me walk through a transparent permeable barrier no one knew was there until I started to push into it causing ripples of concentric circles as a traversed onto the other side, into a new reality. That step I took that day out of the pattern that seemed to form the core of my personality, changed the course of my life.

The opportunity to step out of the pattern is there for all of us. It shows up in those moments of inner conflict, when you hold yourself back, keeping yourself from experiencing what your soul truly desires.

It is at those very moments, when you feel frozen that you need to listen. Just stay there and listen. Stay in the fear that has you stuck in your tracks. Notice the pattern. You have been here many times before. Pause. Listen. Whether it’s a whisper or a booming command, there is a voice there, coaxing you to break free of the matrix, to walk through the old world into a new one. A world where you will have the chance to discover your authentic self.

Learning how to access and nurture your authentic self in order to Design Your Life, is what I am all about. But in this world that is phobic of living from the inside out, it takes practice of the right mindset, and tools to do it. The Mindful World Parenting Summit, the free online summit that goes live Jan 21-27 2019, is that rare opportunity to learn what it takes to create the pause we all need when triggered, and mine these moments for all they have for us.

Here is a piece of video I took of myself after two back to back interviews I did one evening with two transformative leaders, Jennifer McLean & Les Brown.

In their own way, they each touched that little girl inside of me who continues to struggle with the fear of being unseen. The process with Jennifer happened on camera during our interview; it continued with Les after I stopped recording the interview for the summit.

I offer you this piece of my experience so that you understand that this process of unfolding and evolving into our authenticity never ends. And you don’t want it to. It is the process that allows us to connect with the source of our power and our joy.

Join me and the over 40 experts that have contributed to this summit and learn how to free yourself from The Matrix. You don’t have to be a parent to participate; all that is needed is to have had one.

With Deep Respect & Gratitude

Dr. Stacy

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