As humans, we tend to resist change in our lives. We’ll do anything to avoid change despite its certainty and our incredible ability to adapt. Learning to move through change vs resist it is what makes all the difference in our ability to successfully navigate whatever life might bring. As scary and hard as it might be, the faster we can get to a place of acceptance, the sooner we transition to a place of positive change.

By accepting the reality of any situation, it enables us to discover appropriate solutions in our lives. Rather than employing solutions based on what was or for a future that has yet to happen, staying grounded in what we know allows us to align our actions more appropriately with our current reality. As a result, we solve problems more effectively, make use of solutions that can actually work right now, and give ourselves the opportunity to appreciate our own competence and resilience. The more we do this, and pay attention to how we are doing, the more evidence we acquire to build our confidence in our ability to cope with whatever might happen next.

But how do we reach this stage of acceptance? What if we’re dealing with a particularly challenging situation? Breathe, grieve, and identify what you need. This is a saying that I want you to remember when you’re dealing with a difficult situation or a change in life.


The first step is to breathe. Finding our breath helps in combatting our fear, allowing us to access our wisdom and higher selves. Rather than avoiding a challenging situation, breathing empowers us to travel through these scenarios by calming our nerves so we can see it more clearly for what it is.

Next, we must grieve. It’s important to recognize that with every change we also face loss. Loss of what was, loss of what was familiar. Moving into the unknown is scary. Letting go of what was, allowing ourselves to recognize it as a loss, and feeling our feelings about that is the process we need to go through in order to let go and move forward.

Once we’ve calmed our nervous system and have taken the time to grieve, we’re better equipped to identify our needs. What can I handle now? What resources do I have? How can make best use of the supports and resources available to me? What other supports do I need? These questions combined with the commitment to act to make a difference for ourselves is what allows us to not only survive adversity but thrive in the face of it.

If this was helpful, please share it. We are all in this together.

Take Care,
Dr. Stacy & The Design Your Life Team