Dr. Shefali Tsbary – Dr. Stacy Thomas

Articles Tagged with: Dr. Shefali Tsbary

The MINDFUL WORLD PARENTING SUMMIT: An Invitation to Be Part of The Change that Can Change the World

How did you come to host this? This is one of the most common questions I get asked by my interviewees after we stop recording their contribution for the Mindful World Parenting Summit, a free, 7-day online event that has brought together leading experts on parenting, mental health, brain science, nutrition, education, and mindfulness in service of creating a more mindful world. The subtext I hear is, “why you?”. It’s a fair question. I do not have much of a following. I am not a best-selling author. I have not been on a podcast nor have I done a TED Talk. I am an unknown; a virtual nobody in our virtual world.

My answer to the question is quite simple: I just committed to doing something to make a difference. With no following, I just decided to do it – to try to expand my reach beyond the four walls of my office. I sincerely did not feel I had a choice to do otherwise.

The process started 2 years ago, when I was shaken to my core with the turmoil I witnessed happening in the world. As upsetting as it all was, once I got quiet through my own practice of meditation and expressive writing, there were two things that soon became crystal clear: 1) that within the darkness and the chaos, there would be a natural attraction of the masses to anything and anyone that inspired the light and 2) I needed to do more to democratize mental health and make evidence-based mental wellness tools more accessible.

The latter was something I felt deeply called to do. This was not about me. It was about doing what I could to have a positive impact because there were clearly too many who needed to be supported to do the inner work necessary for the world to change.

And so I just started. I had no idea how I was going to do it, but I was committed to doing what I could and waited for inspiration. A year later, the how I was looking for began to take shape in the form of a guided journal. A year after that, after having self published the Growing Forward Journal, and bearing witness to the impact and massive shifts people made almost instantly as they accessed, and shared the truth that came through on the page as they got quiet, and allowed the pen to express what they needed to hear, I knew that I was on the right track.

Along the way, I happened to share The Growing Forward Journal with Stephen Huszar, a friend and one of the founders of Mindful World. Mindful World produced Milton’s Secret, a gem of a movie starring Donald Sutherland, based on the Ekhart Tolle book of the same name. I had gifted my time as a consultant to help with the development of the learning materials based on Ekhart’s response to the film. Interestingly, my involvement happened soon after my awakening two years ago.

Stephen loved the journal and encouraged me with much needed advice about how to launch it to a wider audience. As part of the launch and the community I wanted to build around it, I had always envisioned inviting other experts and seekers, known and unknown, to offer their wisdom about growing forward through life’s challenges.

This vision is what I had in mind during The New Moon Ceremony I hosted this past summer along with Roseline Mouana. It was a truly magical night on the roof at 321 Carlaw where my office is located. After having let go of all that did not serve us, getting grounded through yoga, and coming together in celebration of all that we were inviting into our lives, I found myself setting this intention:

About a month later, the opportunity of a lifetime came my way, courtesy of Stephen: I was invited to host The Mindful World Parenting Summit. I was indeed going to be sharing my Big Voice with other Big Voices for Big Impact in a way I had never thought possible.

The Summit, has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my professional life. This psychologist, who can barely figure out how to post on Facebook, was suddenly given access to professionals and thought leaders I have long admired, who themselves are also dedicated to having a positive impact on the world. The opportunity to engage with them and share their teachings has touched me so much. It has impacted the way I parent and has affirmed a truth that I know without question: We humans are at a turning point in our evolution.

It is an exciting time. Our best science undeniably confirms the power of mindful practices for building the parts of the brain that allow us to respond vs. react and to feel deeply connected with ourselves and others. We can now literally see how the mind, i.e. our thoughts, impacts the physical structure of our brains. And we have irrefutable evidence that as creatures of attachment, it is through the ability to connect that we are able to realize our highest potential.

Yes, there is indeed a science to happiness and it is high time that everyone learns about it and understands how to practically apply this knowledge so we can all start living from the inside out, build true resilience and thrive. This is how we can change a generation. This is how we can change the world.

So if you are on my mailing list, or follow me on social media, you can expect that I will be talking a lot about this event for the next several weeks. This event is far too important for me to be shy about promoting it.

My hope is that you will help me with this mission. Click the link and register. And once you are done registering, share it with everyone you know.

The summit runs from January 21-27, 2019. But as soon as you sign up, you will get access to a bunch of free gifts, including two interviews included in the summit, one of them being with Dr. Shefali Tsabary one of my favourite conscious parenting experts of all time. You will also get access to The Growing Forward Journal by your truly, as well as other books and programs from the event producers and some of our more prolific experts in the summit.

As for my journey…the lesson I hope you take from it is to commit and act. You know that idea that has been rattling around in your brain for months, maybe even years? It is there for a reason. That reason is bigger than you. You owe it to yourself to discover that gift you have to offer to the world that only you can give in the way that you can. And know that if you commit to making it happen, even if you don’t know how to do it, the universe will help you. It has your back. My story is proof of it.

With Deep Respect & Gratitude for joining me in helping to create a more mindful world.

Let’s do this, together!

Dr. Stacy

Conscious Parenting: An Invitation to Drop the Guilt and Receive The Love your Child is Ready to Give.

Almost every day for a year and a half; that’s how long my daughter has been waiting and talking about going to drama club at her school. This was going to be her year. She was finally old enough to attend. So when she brought home the forms, I was on it. I filled them out right away, sent in my money and placed them in the envelope along with all of the other forms needed for the start of the school year. Or so I thought.

The call came a few days later from the school administrator to let me know that she did not receive any of the club forms. WHAT???! How was that possible? The school administrator stated that she is always very careful as she knows how important registration in the school clubs are to the kids and their families. She insisted that they were never received.

Is it possible that I somehow forgot to put the forms in the envelope? My heart sank and the panic started to rise as I pictured my daughter’s disappointment, sadness and anger in response to this situation. I choked back tears as I begged and pleaded to find a way for my daughter to be in drama, but there was nothing that could be done. The club was full and there were 6 other children ahead of her on the waiting list.

I hung up the phone and tried to go back to work, distracted by thoughts of how I was going to break this piece of bad news. The thought occurred to me to not tell her the entire story, to just tell her that the class was full and play the role of the heroine as I consoled her in her grief in order to shield myself from the possibility of anger directed towards me for any role I might have played in this situation.

But I couldn’t do that. I knew that presenting her with a half truth would have created a barrier between us. Because as much as part of my distress came from my desire to shield my daughter from pain, it was also in response to having to face the very real possibility of my own failings and the feelings of shame that typically accompanies the evidence of my imperfection. This was the real issue that I had to face. She was not the one who needed protection. A choice to not honestly share the truth would have been all about protecting myself.

And so I decided to do something different. I decided first to make peace with myself. I decided to show myself compassion. I let myself cry as I recognized that mistakes can happen in spite of our best intentions. I forgave myself for whatever I might have done to contribute to this situation and I decided that I would hold space for whatever feelings my daughter needed to express. I would apologize. Because even though I tried my best and did not know how the forms did not get to the right place, it was ultimately my responsibility. And I committed to looking for another drama class in the community that she could join if she was amenable to this.

The decision to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but my whole truth was a decision to be fully present with my daughter; to not abandon her. It was a decision to communicate to her that sometimes things don’t work out, but that we can deal with these disappointments… together. It was a decision to show her that she and her brother could always come to me with their mistakes because I was willing to be honest with them about mine.

When we got home, I sat both my daughter and my 8 year old son down to tell them what happened. I wanted to include my son as he needed to see me walk the walk just as much as my daughter did.

I told them about the call, about the things I thought I did to secure her spot, about how my search for the forms at the house came up empty but that at the end of the day the school did not have them and they are also sure that they never received them. I told her that this meant that she would not be able to go to drama club this term and that I was truly sorry.

I braced myself for her tears and anger. What happened was something that I had not anticipated. Rather than getting upset, this child simply looked at me, hugged me hard and gave me a big kiss on the cheek. The only tears that were shed were from my own eyes as I took in the unconditional love she so clearly expressed to me in that moment, a profound gift that healed and will forever touch my heart.

The gift my daughter gave me that day not only showed me her resilience but did wonders for further weakening my harsh inner critic. It is a gift that I opened myself up to receive because I was willing to face my own suffering, and meet it with compassion.

This is what conscious parenting is all about. It’s not about being the perfect parent. It’s about creating a space for self-compassion, and awareness so that we as parents can accept the invitation our children have for us to come into our authentic selves.

Interested in learning more about Conscious Parenting? Then you absolutely need to come out to see Dr. Shefali Tsbary in person in Toronto on September 30, 2018.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with her, Dr. Shefali is a world-renowned psychologist, Oprah regular, TED Talk veteran and the NY Times best selling author of The Conscious Parent, Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children, and The Awakened Family. She is one of the foremost authorities on Conscious Parenting, and one of the most engaging speakers I have ever seen.

You can learn more and register for her event here. And not only will I be there for her talk and the post-talk Q&A, but …..I am going to have the chance to interview her in person (eeeee!!!!).

Dr. Shefali has agreed to be a key participant in a 7-day, on-line summit by Mindful World called Parenting In The Age Of Change, which will be hosted by none other than yours truly. I can hardly wait.

The summit will be bringing together world leaders and practitioners in the areas of parenting, mindfulness, education, brain science, and holistic health, to teach us how we can truly apply mindful practices and teachings in support of parents and children who are feeling more disconnected than ever in a hyper-connected world.

I cannot believe that I get to pick the brains and play a role in sharing the wisdom of some of the greatest teachers in this area. So send me your questions! Let me be your voice. It is incredibly important that my questions reflect your concerns, so do not be shy. Send them.

And do let me know when you register for Dr. Shefali’s event. I would love to meet up and meet later that week to discuss our takeaways and how we can start implementing some of these ideas for our families and ourselves.

We are all in this together.

With Deep Respect

Dr. Stacy